You think it’s just an impulse purchase – the handbag on sale, the shoes that have been discontinued, or the on-trend colourful toaster that you know will brighten your mornings.
But routine impulsive buying is a weakness for many – in fact it’s been estimated to affect about 15 per cent of us, and it cuts across all education and income levels.
The problem comes when the threshold is crossed from buying only occasionally to buying compulsively, and you become unable to control the urge to buy things despite the overwhelming burden of debt. It becomes an itch you have to scratch, and you make purchases that you ignore or regret afterwards.
It’s interesting to understand that shopping has little or nothing to do with the specific objects purchased. Many go on shopping binges when their feelings are hurt. For others, its a desperate need for approval. Most of what these shoppers buy isn’t even for themselves.
A hallmark of compulsive shoppers is the repeated purchase of things that aren’t used or are hidden away.
It’s possible that the pattern of compulsive spending began in childhood by spending whatever money you got immediately, or with parents who bought you whatever you wanted. You may have never learned to get as much pleasure out of saving than spending. And so it became a habit that is just too hard to break.
For others, the trip to the shopping centre has become a ritual assurance of love and self-worth, offering an escape from loneliness, despair and anxiety. It’s not the products bought that matters, but the process of buying.
Whatever the cause, it’s no surprise that the emotions driving people to compulsive spending have much in common with those seen in people with other addictive habits – one of the most marked being feelings of low self-worth. Like other addictions, shopping fills a void and bolsters sagging self-confidence.
But it’s hard to get serious about compulsive shopping because, unlike other addictions, shopping is condoned by society. All we need to do is turn on the TV to be bombarded with new things to buy and sales we must not miss.
But, like all addictions, there are consequences to compulsive spending. Some of the more obvious consequences include massive credit card debt, spoiled relationships, work problems, and depression and anxiety.
There are also less obvious consequences, making it harder to acknowledge and take steps to alleviate the problem. It could be that you are unable to save for a deposit on a house, pay off a debt or fund your retirement adequately.
Whatever the cause, the key question to ask yourself is whether you continue spending for the wrong reasons. If this could be you, the following tips can help:
1. Admit your spending habits
The most extreme compulsive spenders tend to hide or lie about their purchases, buy items that still have price tags attached, and max out more than one credit card. Be honest about your spending habits.
2. Get to know yourself
Ask yourself, really, why do you keep buying things you don’t need. Is it the thrill of the hunt? Pleasure in finding a great sale? Beliefs you’ve grown up with such as money is only good after its been spent? Examine why you spend.
3. Take control
Cut up your credit cards if you don’t think you can control your spending with them. Use only cash or a debit card. Refuse to take on any more loans, or draw down your mortgage.
4. Set up a budget
If you find it hard to get motivated to budget, or would like to start but feel so stuck, find out what you can do about it, and start small. Even start by writing things down and keeping a daily log of what you spend along with the feelings associated with the purchase.
5. Write down your financial goals
If you have something to aim for it can help motivate you to think of your finances differently. For example, saving for a reliable car, a trip to Europe next summer or a deposit on a house can give you the motivation you need to stick to a new plan.
6. Steer clear of temptations
Plan all shopping trips and stay within a budget. Avoid the discount warehouses and shopping mall. If you identify a “want” rather than a “need”, leave it for a day or two, then only go back and buy it if you still decide you really need it.
7. Find healthy alternatives
When you start to feel the urge to go spending, go for a walk or read a book instead. You could even consider volunteering. Finding something else to do could take your mind off the urge until it passes.
8. Know when to get help
If you feel your spending is out of control and that you can’t wrestle with the problem alone, seek out counseling or therapy, or even a debtors anonymous group. There is help out there if you look for it, so there is no need to suffer in silence or continue the pain of compulsive spending.
Moneylogue 